It is the classic massage dilemma. You are face down on the table, the ambient music is playing, and you wonder: Am I supposed to chat, or should I be silent?
The short answer? It is entirely up to you.
Massages are your time and your investment. Massage therapists are trained to follow your lead, and shouldn’t have a preference.
One Layer Deeper
To take this a layer deeper, however, this particular issue is one where personality comes into play. Both your personality and that of the therapist. And this is often one of the reasons clients stay with a therapist long-term, or find a new therapist.
Because it is your time, you should find a therapist that fits you really well. That includes the scheduling process, communicating your issues and needs, types of accepted payments, and talking during a massage session.
Talking During a Session
There is nothing wrong with talking during a massage session. For some clients, this is the only time during the day when anyone actually listens to what they have to say. Sometimes the client is struggling with something at that time and benefits from talking it through out loud with someone who will just listen. For long-term clients, there is a shared fondness between them and the therapist and they use the time to catch up. Other times people chat because they’re nervous or they’re curious about the therapist or massage in general.
There are also times when physical releases happen through verbal processing. Said another way, as the body begins to release, the patient feels compelled to talk.
All of these are okay. Ultimately, it’s up to you, the client, to decide what you want and need in the session. And then you’ll need to find a therapist who fits what you’re looking for.
Not Talking During a Session
Just as there is nothing wrong with talking during a massage session, there is nothing wrong with remaining quiet, either. Perhaps you’ve had a very long day, or a bad week, and a the session is the only time you’ll be able to check out. For parents of young children, sometimes a massage session is the only time during the day when it’s quiet, or when someone isn’t calling their name. Sometimes people schedule massage appointments specifically for the opportunity to relax and fall asleep.
No matter what kind of massage work you’re going for, you get to decide if you want to talk while you’re on the table, or not. The therapist will follow your lead.
If you’re learning about this because you’re new to massage, this will be helpful to you: What to Expect For Your First Massage
When You Must Speak Up
There are a few occasions when you must say something. You should always speak up immediately for the following:
- Pain or Pressure: If the pressure is too intense or too light, say so.
- Temperature: Speak up if you are shivering or sweating.
- Physical Discomfort: Let the therapist know if you need a pillow adjusted or if a position hurts.
- Injuries: Remind the therapist of areas to avoid, like a recent bruise or a sore joint.
For more important information, read Should My Massage Hurt?
How to Set the Tone
Some therapist may address talking during a massage in the initial intake interview. Most will not. It is okay for you to bring it up and state your preference. If it doesn’t come up, know that the therapist plans to follow your lead.
That means that if you initiate conversation while on the table, the therapist will converse with you. While doing so, the therapist will let you either keep the conversation going or let it drop. Then the therapist will work quietly.
This can change throughout the session. Perhaps it begins with conversation, but you let it drop, and for the remainder of the time, it’s quiet. Or maybe it was quiet to begin with, but after you turned onto your back, you thought of a question or felt better talking.
The Bottom Line: Do not worry about whatever is “normal” to do during a massage. Do what you prefer on that day. Talk if you want to talk. Or zone out in silence.
What if the therapist disagrees? It’s okay to accept that not every therapist is a good match for every client. It does suck for the client who has to find and try another new therapist. Massage is expensive, and it’s hard to keep trying people. But don’t compromise. Because it is your time and money!
If a therapist scolds you for talking, find a new one. If a therapist blabs at you the whole time and won’t let the conversation drop into silence, find a new one. Massage schools across the country spend time training on this very topic, and therapists are trained to follow the client’s lead. That is standard practice. If you’ve found one struggling to do so, it’s likely he or she is struggling with other parts of training as well. Best to move on.
EXPERT CARE IN THE MAGIC CITY
For those in Billings, Montana, finding a skilled practitioner is the first step toward long-term relief. Catherine Nelson is a local expert specializing in medical and injury rehabilitation massage. With over two decades of experience and advanced certifications in CranioSacral Therapy and Kinesiology Taping, she focuses on helping patients regain mobility and live pain-free.
Whether you are dealing with chronic lower back issues or a recent injury, personalized massage therapy can help your body move like it used to. See what Catherine’s patients are saying.